The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
