we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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