i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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