Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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