from now on my penis is your penis
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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