...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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