i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Someone came in the potted fern
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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