Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My dick has a subreddit
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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