Umm I'm too high to move.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize