Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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