her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
