Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
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