how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize