Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
