wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
