i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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