Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
