I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i drank out of a bidet.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Randomize
