Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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