Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
A+ Viking dick
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize