There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I could make wine with my vomit
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
ttyl tear gas
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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