wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she woke up with a sticky ear
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
