he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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