why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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