Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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