You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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