It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have fence marks all over my body
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
