Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
