We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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