I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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