So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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