she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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