i just google imaged poop.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
