i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
