I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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