doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
