Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
