New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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