literally had 100 drinks last night.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
