i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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