Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
