I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
