she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
