He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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