My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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