You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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