i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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