I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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