i need an iv and a liver transplant
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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