Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
