Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
