dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
