Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
