idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
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