We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
