So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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